When life's a soggy biscuit: How to keep your cool when your about to lose your shit.

I’d like to say that I’m one of those people who gracefully sails through life. But if you’re reading this, you know better. There are days when life has the structural integrity of a soggy biscuit, and you're just trying to hold it together. As a mother, a wife, an educator, and everything else in between, there are moments when I feel like the scales of life have tipped so far out of my favour that it’s not even funny anymore. Yin and yang? More like a cosmic joke where everything lands in the “yang” pile—lost paperwork, being short-staffed, boiler breakdowns, and of course, the joy of trying to arrange repairs during your already chaotic day.

When your day consists of trying to manage a crisis (or two) while you’re being shoved from department to department on hold for an entire lunch break, only to explain the same issue again, it’s enough to make anyone want to burn the whole damn bush down, never mind sprinkling a little cinnamon on it. So, how do you hold on to your sanity when it feels like you're one school pickup or misplaced email away from losing your shit? Here’s what I’ve learned in the trenches.

1. The Five-Minute Rule: Permission to Step Away

Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is step back. Give yourself permission to take five minutes away from whatever is sending your blood pressure through the roof. Go hide in the bathroom if you have to (I have, and it's oddly peaceful). Those five minutes won’t solve all your problems, but they’ll give you the space to gather yourself before you snap.

2. Box Breathing: The Calm in the Chaos

I used to think all that breathing stuff was woo-woo nonsense, but hear me out. Box breathing is a simple, scientifically proven way to slow down your heart rate and calm the nervous system. Here’s how you do it:

Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.

Hold for 4 seconds.

Exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.

Hold for 4 seconds. Repeat this a few times, and it’s like pressing a mental reset button. Trust me, it works—especially when you're two seconds away from screaming into a pillow.

3. Task Triaging: What's Actually Urgent?

When everything feels like it's on fire, it's easy to think you need to tackle it all right now. Spoiler: You don’t. Start by sorting tasks into three categories:

Emergency (this will explode if not handled today),

Can Wait (this can hold until tomorrow),

Meh (do I even need to do this?). Then, focus on the real emergencies first. The rest will still be there tomorrow, I promise.

4. Get Moving: No, Seriously

I’m not suggesting you go run a marathon, but just moving your body for a few minutes can make a massive difference. Studies have shown that even a quick walk or stretch can reduce cortisol levels and boost mood. So, when you’re on the verge of losing it, take a brisk walk around the block or do some stretching. I’ve found that a quick “I’m leaving this house before I scream” lap does wonders for my mental health.

5. Delegate Like a Boss

Repeat after me: You do not have to do everything yourself. I know, wild concept, right? If you can, ask for help. Whether it’s delegating tasks at work, roping in a family member to take over one of your never-ending duties, or even outsourcing something small (hello, grocery delivery), it can make a world of difference. Lightening your load, even a little, can help you feel less like you’re drowning.

6. The Power of "No"

For years, I was a "yes" person. Yes to extra work, yes to favors, yes to social engagements. But guess what? It’s impossible to maintain your sanity when your plate is already overflowing. Practice saying “no” without guilt. It’s not selfish; it’s self-preservation.

7. Laugh it Off (If You Can)

Sometimes, when everything goes spectacularly wrong, all you can do is laugh. Laughter releases endorphins, which help you relax. It’s why we have that dark humor in stressful moments—like when you’re up to your eyeballs in chaos and think, “This cannot possibly get worse,” and then it does. If you can’t laugh at the situation, at least find a funny meme or video to reset your brain.

8. Remember: This Too Shall Pass

When you’re stuck in a particularly hellish moment, it’s easy to feel like it’s never going to end. But here’s the thing: It will. Even if your life feels like a disaster right now, that doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way. I remind myself that every rough patch is temporary, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. And in the grand scheme of things, will you remember this lost paperwork or that frustrating phone call in a year? Probably not.

So, the next time you find yourself on the verge of losing your mind because everything around you is crumbling like a biscuit in hot tea, take a breath, walk it off, laugh if you can, and remember that you’re only human. Sometimes life is ugly and frustrating, and no amount of zen quotes or herbal tea will fix it instantly. But you’re tougher than you think. You’ve handled worse, and you’ll get through this, too.

Now, excuse me while I go call the boiler repair guy for the third time this week.