Mummy Guilt - A Silent Epidemic

Hello my fellow mamas,

Today we’re diving into the eerily silent epidemic of mummy guilt. Oh, you know it well. It’s that little voice in your head whispering, “You don’t really need that new dress, do you?” or “Shouldn’t you be using this time to organize the playroom?” It's that sinking feeling as you sip your stolen moment of peace in a café, pretending you're just a regular person enjoying a cup of coffee, not a frazzled mum on the run.

Mummy guilt, for the uninitiated, is this strange phenomenon where mothers, who single-handedly juggle a horde of responsibilities, feel guilty for spending time or money on themselves. It's a bizarre concoction of love, selflessness, and an irrational sense of responsibility that makes us feel like every minute and every penny should be spent on our offspring or our households.

Now let me set the record straight. We get mummy guilt because we love our little gremlins, I mean darlings, to bits. We want to provide the best for them, even if that means sacrificing our own needs and desires. But, ladies, there's a plot twist here. Our guilt doesn't magically disappear when our kids fly the nest. In fact, it sometimes grows, fuelled by empty nest syndrome and the thought, "Could I have done more?"

How do we react to this guilt, you ask? Well, we become masters of of the yin and yang yet never the mater of balance. We buy a new dress and say, "This old thing? I've had it for ages." We sneak into coffee shops for a blissful moment of solitude and pretend it's just another chore. We set stringent budgets for ourselves and stick to them like we're saving for a trip to Mars, justifying the occasional splurge as a 'necessary' expense. Only to then punish ourselves for doing so. We self sabotage, we find unhealthy habits such as over eating or even starving ourselves.

That new dress we brought which made us feel good, never sees daylight because when the guilt takes grip we think we look silly, "What was I thinking?" and dare I say it many make their way back to the store with receipt in hand for a refund to then spend on someone else, because that makes us feel better again right? We can end up thinking so little of ourselves that we accept unreasonable behaviour towards us and overload our plate with chores and the self responsibility of others as a form of punishment.

We've become so adept at rationalising our guilt that we've forgotten how to enjoy guilt-free moments of indulgence. We've forgotten that we are human beings, not just mum-bots programmed to cater to everyone's needs but our own.

And here's the real kicker: we spend so much time running around, making sacrifices and giving to others that the time we spend on ourselves is a mere drop in the ocean. We've got it all backward, ladies! That tiny drop should be an ocean.

It's time we shatter the myth that mums can't or shouldn't treat themselves. Ladies, we are the engines that drive our families, often taking on more responsibilities than we can manage or should have to. And what happens when an engine is overworked and under-maintained? It breaks down.

So, let's rewrite the mummy guilt narrative. Let's make it okay to spend on ourselves, to take time out for self-care. That quiet coffee in a corner of a café, that's not an indulgence, it's a necessity! That new dress, you’ve earned it, so wear it with pride!

Let's banish the guilt and replace it with a new mantra: I am worth it. Because, dear mums, if we don't care for ourselves, how can we care for our families?

So, the next time you feel that twinge of mummy guilt, remember this post, and tell that guilt: "Not today, not tomorrow, not on my watch!"

Let's start a revolution, shall we? A self-care revolution. One where mums around the world reclaim their right to pamper themselves. Let's introduce mummy guilt to its new friend: mummy empowerment!

Imagine a world where we can say, "I'm off to the spa for a bit of me-time," without feeling like we've committed high treason against our families. Where we can buy that beautiful pair of shoes without having to create an elaborate backstory about them being on sale or a gift from a long-lost aunt.

And let's not forget about our dear friend, the stringent budget. Let's redefine it from a tool of self-deprivation to a tool of self-care. We are not setting aside pennies for ourselves because we are worth pennies. No, we are setting aside pennies, so they accumulate into dollars, pounds, or euros for that well-deserved holiday, that much-needed massage, or that life-changing yoga retreat.

We must remember, mums, that being a superhero doesn't mean we have to be superhuman. Even superheroes need a break. Heck, even Superman retreated to his Fortress of Solitude now and then. Our coffee shops, our yoga classes, our quiet corners with a book - these are our fortresses of solitude.

And believe it or not, our children, partners, and even our pets can survive a few hours without us. They might even learn a thing or two, like how to operate the washing machine, or the exotic art of cleaning up after themselves!

And when our children see us taking care of ourselves, they learn a valuable lesson. They learn that self-care isn't selfish; it's essential. They learn to value themselves and their needs, creating a ripple effect of self-love and self-care for generations to come.

So, let's stop the guilt-tripping and start the self-loving. Let's set an example for our children, let's set an example for the world. Let's show them that mums are not just caregivers; they are individuals who deserve care too.

Remember, dear mums, you are the heart of your family, and it's time you treated yourself with the same love, compassion, and care you shower on everyone else. Because you're not just a mum, you're a phenomenal woman, and yes, you absolutely, positively, without a doubt, deserve it! So, here's to you, to us, to the end of mummy guilt and the rise of mummy empowerment.

Cheers!